SKULL KINGDOMS: THE FUTURE IS NO

empty, increasingly losing my appetites, sick of being lied to, used and manipulated- i make those things seem grand, like the plot twist of a bestselling suspense novel- but i really mean that i'm treated as no more than an object- a supporting character in others' dramas- i'm there to further the plot along and i will be killed off when i get boring.
my dreamlife has begun to reflect my waking life- decrepit naked rooms, migraine florescent convenience stores. my faculty for obsession has eroded me into a blank with no subconscious fulfillment. when did i become so numb again? i thought i had moved beyond this stagnant state, but here i am again- my only emotions are sadness and rage, the will to smash the world with my pain gets channeled into my creative endeavors- i find i'm no less a piece of garbage to my creations than the gods others worship.
can you see the oroboros?
ssy

SKULL KINGDOMS: hare krishna or harakiri?

a snag in the fabric- i am typing to you from an alien machine, my laptop has shit the bed- which means: no new cds, music, scans etc. for as long as it takes me to summon up enough cash to wrangle a new one (months at least...). i harangue the material world and it spits right on back in my face.

head full of ideas for implementation in the Skull Kingdoms and diaspora... going to start a new page soon ala The Grammar of the Red Thread: less versifried and more blunt (pun unintended but no less apropos), writing and research on large scale psychic martial arts and reality engineering- keep your eye on the Fugue- i'll be vivisecting some of its contents into this new page soon...

ssy, skin crawlingly sober

SKULL KINGDOMS: live bait, dead soldiers

lying in my bed slightly stoned after a brief exchange with a beautiful woman the other night, drifting thoughts...

all of our senses are based on touch: sight depends on light hitting your eyes, scent is the detection of airborn traces of molecular decay, etc.... and yet, skin to skin contact among humans, what you might consider the fundamental basis of our senses, is the most complicated and guarded kind of sensory perception. i am on the bus, or at a show- someone i don't know rubs against me and i'm filled with a horror and disgust i can't describe- even the embraces of longterm friends leave me disconcerted. why does my sense of touch directly equate with sex? is it the strong sway my sexual instincts have over me, or is it just a natural extension of my misanthropy as regards the social patterns of others?

a different line of thought produced by entirely different and aggravating circumstances- everyone is trying to impose their version of reality on the rest of the world, but why do so many feel the need to lie to do it? it's cowardly. the person who can't bluntly proclaim their desires doesn't deserve to be satisfied. the fixation with face- seeming like a 'good' person in the eyes of others- is another type of spiritual servitude i wish to annihilate from my self. i don't want to seem like shit- i want to be what i am...
whatever the fuck that is.

THE FUTURE IS NO
ssy, la place por Le Fraternite du Serpent et le Tambour

SKULL KINGDOMS: THE FUTURE IS NO

i'm sick in my soul... people only care about others as much as they can use them... the only true mercy is an honorable death for the man who can't compete in the games others play... i spit on your realities, your gods, your material necessities, your fear of death, agendas, social climbing cocksuckery... i want to bleed for the pleasure of my goddess and skullfuck my enemies into oblivion...
THE FUTURE IS NO
given enough time we'll all be dead, and you want to do what? pay some bills? get drunk and talk to a toilet bowl? watch a million hours of television? give up like a pathetic fucking slave for the sake of some ephemeral comfort?
THE FUTURE IS NO
'the real world' is a piece of shit and if every man and woman were to stand against me then i still deny you... i deny the reactionary satanists, the manichean duelists, material rationalists... i am an outsider among outsiders- fuck strength in numbers, because playing the power game will only lead to more sadist/masochist dominance struggles and when some big old alpha male shows up that's better than you, your hive mind programming's just going to kick in and you'll be presenting your ass like all the rest
NOUS MOURANS A DEMAIN, NOUS VIVONS MAINTENANT
the only world i have is in my head, the only love i've known is my own
i choose irrationality, fantasy, desire
i make my own history, my own family, my own lover, my own death from the materia prima of SELF
and when i'm done, i'll cast myself into the void of my own free will.

ssy, la place avec Le Fraternite du Serpent et le Tambour

guess what i saw stapled to a telephone pole today...

sign that said "CASH FOR YOUR WARHOL" with a phone number included. Pissed my fuckin' pants.

guess what i heard on public radio today

a hot noise band whose name escapes me...but you can't escape the vibe--MOL, Rum, whatever...we're in your business